As I get older, the majority of people I know are getting married, having kids and I hear all about is how having kids changes you, your life is not your own, etc. I have also had to deal with statements like, “wow, you really need a baby” once people realize how obsessively I care for my animals’ well being, which is vaguely patronizing and insulting.

I don’t have any human children -or, as I like to call them “teacup humans” (thank you True Blood)- but I do want one someday. And thankfully I feel that in some very important way, I will be ready, thanks to being a pet mommy.
There is a reason people advise to get a puppy before they have a baby.

Obviously, it’s different (that’s for all of you out there getting ready to be offended and rant about how a dog and a baby are different; ya think?). But there are some things to consider next time you human parents try and huff about how a child is a different solar system…

#1: Dependency

Yes, as a new mother, father, etc., you have to now deal with the fact that your life is no longer your own. There is a tiny life in your home, disrupting the quiet, making demands, and flipping your routine upside down. A tiny life that is utterly dependent on you for food, warmth, water, diapers while they alternately cry, eat, poop and sleep.
Well, teacup human parent, if you have ever owned a baby animal, it’s basically the same deal.
You are essentially this tiny animal’s only hope for survival. You have to feed it, give it water, take it for vaccinations…you are responsible.

When I adopted Willow, my life wasn’t exactly changed. She was very independent and Wally was very low maintenance. But in some ways, it did. I could not forget to turn on the AC when I would leave in the morning. I had to make sure she had food and water (although as I posted previously, this particular cat has her quirks). If I didn’t come home in the evening, she had no way to feed herself. It’s a given, right?
You would be surprised how many people don’t get that. Cats are one thing– they are the minors while puppies are the major leagues.

#2: Sleep Deprivation

My family is very blessed; most of the newborns I have ever dealt with within familial perimeters have been good sleepers. REALLY good sleepers. But I do acknowledge that this is a rarity: most newborns wake up (or are woken up to be fed to keep up with a schedule) every, what? 3-4 hours? From what I understand, that means a major sacrifice on REM time, especially if you are two working parents. It is unpleasant and causes one to become short tempered, forgetful, and altogether a zombie for the first 3-6 months after the arrival of your tiny parasite…I mean, baby.

When you bring a puppy home, you have effectively ripped that baby from the loving attention of not only its mommy and, in some cases daddy, or their brothers and sisters. You bring them home to an unfamiliar place, and if you have animals, unfamiliar animals or children. Or maybe you bring them home to a place where it’s just them.
I know adults that would cry in that situation.
So why is it that some people are surprised when their new puppy, which all the books tell you to place in their crate, puppy padded room, or whatever starts crying and doesn’t stop? I hear this complaint a lot when it comes to new owners. And most of the time they have taken the standard advice of new puppy ownership and leave their pet in their designated area. I don’t know how many times I have heard people say “well, I took the crate approach…or I don’t want to spoil him…or they have to learn.” All the while clutching their coffee like it is their life line. Sound familiar, parents?

#3: You have no “Just Me” Time

Growing up, my one of my mother’s favorite guilt drops was the ever so popular “All I ever do is worry about you. I never have time for myself anymore.” Granted, you carry the child, then you have to make sure it is supervised 24/7 for the first ten years or so of life. Day cares, nannies, baby sitters, relatives, friends- they will all eventually become some form of child care. This is the big one.
I had one person once tell me that I had no idea the time and effort it took to raise a child and that comparing it to a dog was insulting because a dog can be left in the backyard/home with a water bowl and some food; insinuating that that was all there was to owning an animal.
Let me make something clear: if you think that owning a pet is sticking them outside or in their cages and feeding them, you have no business owning anything more than a houseplant.
I’m pretty sure that people with that mentality are the ones whose dog barks all day, mauls the kid next door, runs away…and then they act like its the most puzzling and shocking turn of events.
Really?

Each time Leo and I brought one of our furry kids home, we accepted the fact that our lives were changing. We stopped going out to bars, and yes, our finances changed dramatically as well. Vet visits, dog park days, socialization, obedience and potty training…
And of course, the fact that after we got Darla they HAD to come everywhere with us as much as possible, because Great Dane puppies left without supervision during the first year it not a good idea for you, for the dog, or for your home.

I’m not in any way saying that pets are equivalent to a child, but please, next time you think about scoffing at me, realize that my life, too, used to be very different.